Weekly Weird News for 16 September 2022

Happy Friday. I start this newsletter with a reminder of what I try to emphasize every week: the news media does a terrible job at delivering news about nature and science. Instead, they twist it into misleading and harmful clickbait. So, the more you know, the better prepared you can be to apply some critical thinking to weird things in the news.

Megalodon school of fish

A research organization studying sharks identified a very unusual figure in their sonar readings off the Rhode Island coast. It was a school of mackerel that assumed the shape of a very large shark. As the image went viral, newspapers posted the headline that an image of a Megalodon (giant extinct shark) was discovered. It was a blatant clickbait attempt. Unfortunately, most people only read the headlines or skim the article. The truth about the image was buried at the bottom. Many cryptid fans believe Megalodon still exists. There is no evidence that Megalodon is still around. In fact, there is a distinct lack of evidence of what would be found, like recent teeth and near-shore sightings. https://turnto10.com/news/local/post-from-atlantic-shark-institute-goes-viral-after-image-capture-is-compared-to-megalodon

CNN in retrograde

CNN posted an “article” in their “Underscore” section on wellness. It was describing how “Mercury is in retrograde”. This is a bullshit term that astrologers say means that things will go badly for us humans that buy into this stuff. Instead, says CNN, buy this stuff! The rest of the piece is full of rather useless items that are supposed to make you feel better in this turbulent time. Also, CNN gets a kickback from the advertisers. Remember, most of what you think is news is just clickbait for profit. (Not linking because I refuse to give them money.)

CNN has become a blatant sales stream.

Satanic Panic redux

It is not news that features of the Satanic Panic are once again prevalent in certain pockets of society with extreme views. We’ve heard absurd rumors for years about politicians that murder children. Fed by QAnon and Christian extremists, everything they fear or disagree with is labeled “satanic” - the scariest label they can think of. The most dangerous aspect of the resurgence of this fear-mongering is the increase in public accusations of abuse that can destroy families and communities, and incite violence. It’s not Satan that’s legitimately scary here, it’s the people who believe in Satan who demonize the “other” and can carry out an evil plan. With the increasing mainstream coverage and media content depicting people in power as devil-worshipping monsters, more people can be convinced that something nefarious is going on. NBC news highlights these contemporary issues in this feature piece this week. https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/satanic-panic-making-comeback-fueled-qanon-believers-gop-influencers-rcna38795

HAARP opened to public

Scientists opened the gates to the no longer operating high frequency active auroral research program (HAARP), a field of antenna once used for scientific experiments. For years, HAARP was the go-to answer to everything weird associated with weather and earth events. Some even insisted the facility created mysterious hums around the world or controlled their minds. The open house, which began a few years ago, was another step in demystifying the past and providing transparency to an ever more suspicious public. https://alaska-native-news.com/an-attempt-to-de-mystify-the-mysterious/63720/

Louisiana tiger tale

Police were out in Houma, Louisiana after multiple reports of a tiger on the loose last week. The reports appeared on social media but it’s unclear if the rumors were set off by one person or some unusual sighting. After more than a week, no signs of a large cat were ever found. It seems very likely it was a locally generated hubbub and nothing more. https://www.fox8live.com/2022/09/09/social-media-rumors-say-tiger-is-loose-houma-police-weigh/

Killed by kangaroo

An elderly Australian man was killed after a wild kangaroo he was apparently holding captive, gave him mortal injuries and then prevented rescuers from approaching. It was the first fatal attack since 1936. Leave wild animals in the wild. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-62884861

Sea lion desperation

A sea lion tried to leap onto a motor boat while being chased by orcas. The large animal didn’t make it onto the small boat and nearly capsized it. What’s really amazing is that another boat managed to capture the event on video. No one on the boat was hurt. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/sea-lion-jumps-on-boat-bc-1.6577816

Queens Bees

The royal beekeeper has informed the Queen’s bees that the Queen has died. This tradition of “telling the bees” is a long tradition where bees must be informed of major family events. Superstition holds that if the bees are not told, they may be upset and leave. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/13/world/europe/bees-queen-elizabeth.html

Where’s the dog? Roof roof

An adopted dog has established her territory as the roof her human’s house in Arizona. The husky runs across the gently sloped roof and watches people passing by. Several people have called authorities regarding the dog that they think is stuck on the roof. There is an easy access point for the dog to get up and down and the owner thinks it’s neat. https://www.abc15.com/news/uplifting-arizona/glendale-husky-becomes-neighborhood-roof-watchdog

Lettuce check for frogs

A woman discovered a live frog in a salad container in Ontario. The salad container was removed by store employees who said they released the frog. It appears to be a common leopard frog. It is actually not that unusual to find critters that have been caught up in produce packaging. This is a reminder to always check and wash your fresh foods. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/woman-discovers-live-frog-in-sealed-lettuce-container-in-london-ont-grocery-store-1.6579753

Monster clouds

The Mosquito wildfire in California is creating monster pyrocumulus clouds over 40,000 feet high. Such dirty clouds are seen from miles away and can create their own weather, including lightning and hail, and carry smoke and particles long distances. Research planes are studying the fire-generated clouds but they are so large, the planes cannot fly over the top. https://www.sfgate.com/california-wildfires/article/Mosquito-Fire-spawns-pyrocumulonimbus-clouds-17431319.php

Grow three inches painfully and expensively

Want to be taller? An extreme surgical procedure can add inches. A clinic in Las Vegas will break your leg bones and add extenders. The cosmetic leg lengthening procedure is dangerous, painful, and rather grotesque, but, like other crazy-sounding body enhancements, many people are willing to pay. https://www.gq.com/story/leg-lengthening

The Volks volts problem

The Volk family in New Jersey are experiencing electrical jolts in their yard after a pool was installed. After many attempts at grounding to fix the problem, it may still be occurring. The electric company was called in to investigate potential “stray voltage”. It can be caused by a return or induced current close to a power source. It can be felt by people or animals but is generally not strong enough to be dangerous. If the cause is, instead, a fault in the system, it could potentially be dangerous. https://abc7ny.com/stray-voltage-pool-brick-new-jersey/12212583/

Blobsquatch wanted for questioning

Finally, police in British Columbia are looking for a well-built suspect who cut a cable to a sky gondola in 2020. The cable was also deliberately cut back in 2019, possibly by the same person… but what if it’s not a person. The thermal image of the suspect bears a remarkable resemblance to a blobsquatch. I mean, it makes sense. Bigfoot doesn’t want so many people with a bird’s-eye view of his neighborhood. Or, this is a Scooby Doo episode where smuggling is going on and the perps have to discourage witnesses. (I would guarantee at least some people do subscribe to the Bigfoot idea.) A substantial reward is offered for information leading to the capture of the saboteur. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/sea-to-sky-gondola-vandalism-update-2022-1.6582667