Weekly Weird News for 16 March 2023

Beware! Weird wild animals in your neighborhood

Hey, everyone. It was a slow week in weird news. And, I’m afraid I’ve got several stories about humans being stupid in weird animal encounters. In two cases, the animal paid the ultimate price for being wild, as it was instinctually doing. 

Zebra attack

First, a man was bitten by a zebra in Ohio. When police arrived, the man was on the ground and the zebra was acting aggressively. So they shot it dead. This story is upsetting because zebras should not be approached as if they were horses. The male zebra was guarding other females in the herd because he obviously felt threatened. The family gave permission for the zebra to be dispatched. Too bad these idiots can’t be charged with very poor judgement in keeping a wild animal that led to its death. Unfortunately, it appears there is a weird law in Ohio that does not consider zebras as wild animals. https://www.10tv.com/article/news/local/1-hospitalized-after-being-bitten-by-zebra-in-circleville/530-a93af8ba-509a-4422-8ddc-e9425563d1cd

Monkey attack

In Oklahoma, a monkey kept as a pet escaped and injured a neighbor when it jumped on her. The monkey tried to get in the house when the woman called police. When she walked outside, it attacker her. A friend of the woman, who was also attacked, shot the monkey near the houses. Once again, we see that the state did not have any restrictions on this exotic pet that they ridiculously consider “domesticated”. As exhibited time and again, monkeys do not make good pets. It seems reasonable that this incident will result in some legal action by the injured woman against the monkey’s owners. https://www.kxii.com/2023/03/14/pet-monkey-shot-killed-after-escaping-ripping-womans-ear/

Don’t poke the sloth

Finally, a teenager dreamed of interacting with a sloth. Sloths are depicted in social media as cute, gentle and adorable and are often the subject of artwork or gifs. People become obsessed with them and want them as pets. In Michigan, a local exotic pet store took advantage of that popularity by charging people to interact with their new sloth. A teen girl apparently got too close, bothered the animal (according to the shop personnel) and the animal struck at her and bit her. The animal was quarantined and the girl had to get rabies treatments. The mother of the girl had recently bought a kinkajou from the same shop. The shop had acquired the sloth from a Florida zoo only three weeks prior. Sloths do not like human contact and have sharp teeth and claws. Selfish, ignorant and irresponsible people think that cute animals they see unrealistically depicted in media can be treated like domestic pets. While sometimes humans get injured, typically the animals ultimately suffer a worse fate.  https://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw-bay-city/2023/03/sloth-bites-teen-during-visit-to-michigan-pet-store-ruining-lifelong-dream.html

Atticgator

The last place you might expect to find an alligator is in an attic. A code inspector discovered just that while examining a newly constructed house in North Carolina. At first, he wasn’t sure what he was looking it but soon discovered it was definitely alive. There was a trail of mud in the house suggesting the gator came through an open door but it’s still not clear how an 8 ft animal got in such a predicament. It was removed by animal control. North Carolina is northernmost extent of alligator habitat on the east coast. https://www.wect.com/2023/03/09/wild-encounter-new-hanover-county-inspector-finds-alligator-attic-house/

Looks like a record year for seaweed

Last week I linked to a story about sargassum, the seaweed that is taking over beaches and leaving a stinking mess. The giant bloom can be seen from space and is heading towards Florida. Beaches in Mexico and Key West are already seeing the increase in the algae spurred by ocean warming and pollution runoff. Buildup of seaweed can block pipes and boat travel as well as seriously affecting tourism and local air quality. https://www.nbcnews.com/science/environment/sargassum-seaweed-threatens-beaches-florida-mexico-rcna73862

Scottish mirage

Conditions were perfect on February 26 in the Scottish Highlands for a Fata Morgana mirage. The objects along the distant horizon were distorted and appeared to be floating, creating an illusion of icebergs. Mirages like this are common. You can often see them in cold weather along the shore where light rays are bent by the air layers: look out at ships on the water and they may appear elongated and weird looking. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cv2rxgwj5r3o

Rhino horn found in UK cave

A man in Cornwall discovered an unusually rare and exotic item in a local cave along the shore at low tide - a rhino horn. It’s unclear how the object got there or how long it had been adrift. The cave was used by smugglers in the past. It is illegal to import rhino horn. There is still demand for it as a magical ingredient in bogus Chinese medicine. https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/sawn-rhino-horn-found-cornwall-8246935

So the news has been a bit disturbing this week, I’ll end with some fun stories about Pop Cryptids. 

Furry new trailblazing mascot

The Portland Trail Blazers have found what I think is the perfect mascot, a Bigfoot named Douglas Fur. Brilliant! Helping with the welcoming of the new mascot is Cliff Barackman of the show Finding Bigfoot who runs the North American Big Foot Center in Boring, Oregon. https://www.nba.com/blazers/news/portland-trail-blazers-and-blaze-the-trail-cat-reveal-new-mascot-douglas-fur

Well, this movie sucks

Netflix is about to release a new movie aimed at kids about the legendary chupacabra (or El Chupacabras). The movie looks like it follows the formulaic story of E.T. where the kids protect the cute, friendly creature from the mean old official-type dudes. The trailer looks cringey but what’s worse is the name given to the creature, Chupa, meaning “suck”. Originally, the tale of this vampiric creature included it attacking and sucking the blood of goats - something that does not actually happen. Unfortunately, the movie producers failed to account for the vulgar alternative usage of the word. (Don’t Google it.) You can’t ever convince me that these Hollywood types know what they are doing. https://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/netflix-is-about-to-get-a-crash-course-in-how-to-use-urban-dictionary.php

That’s all for this week. Send me stories that you see from your local area! Contact me on Mastodon or email lithospherica(at)gmail.com